We're All Goblins

Humans are interesting. WAY more interesting than elves, or dwarves, or whatever whacky ancestry has made its way into your DnD campaign. But the reason doesn't lie in the player's handbook. It lies in the fact that we (as humans) are utterly disgusting.

We. Are. Goblins.

You know when you're feeling hangry and you just go savage on a burger? Goblin.
You know when you don't clean your room for a while and the clothes just pile up to the point that you aren't sure if what you're putting on is clean or dirty? Goblin.
You know when you haven't gotten out of bed all day and your hair isn't cut short so it's greasy and it makes you feel all gross? Goblin.

We all have goblins inside of us and if we slip away from our humanity, the things about us that separate us from the rest of the animal kingdom, we become goblins.

Little green and blue and yellow cretins with chipped claws and dagger teeth. Emotional beasts weighed down by stress, bills, aging...and student debt.

When you look at someone and think, "how the hell do they have their life so well put together?" You are a goblin looking upon a human.

Some of those humans might tell you to be careful. To watch out for those thoughts and feelings...

But being a goblin isn't so bad.

In fact, it's quite fun.

What does this mean for D&D?

All humans have a goblin form that they have no control over. It can come about in times of great stress, or continued moments of unluck. Here are a few things that might lead to the presence of your goblin form:
Roll three natural 1's in a row
Get downed in every combat for three sessions
Take on a crushing debt for several sessions
Be cursed into your goblin form
Live in squalor for like a week straight
Be in a dungeon for more than two sessions without proper rest/food/water
Slowly lose the will to take care of yourself

What happens?

If you become a goblin mid-session, or between sessions, then the DM controls your character in a very similar sense to Lycanthropy. You awaken in some kind of den, or a darkened room, surrounded by your own primal debauchery. The goblin form is only temporary and seeks to fulfill those urges and desires that are not permitted within society.

Goblin Characters

If you give in to being a goblin, then you will become a goblin. What this means for your character is that you:
change your name
reroll your stats
start at level one
choose a new class
and adventure as "normal"

These same rules apply to those looking to just start off as a goblin. You had a previous life that may come back to haunt you or help you. But it exists back there, somewhere in your new subconscious brain.

Goblin names tend to be actions, noises, smells, or feelings. A goblin might be named Lunge, or Fuck, or Stress, or Cripple. These words often relate to the source of their goblinism.

Fae steal children to turn them into goblins and raise them as their own. While new goblins, like dragons, have a strange fascination with fae. If a goblin meets a fae, it's like the "love at first sight" effect that is shown in movies. The goblin is struck with this otherworldly presence. These sort of bonds are powerful and can also lead to a goblin reverting to their human form or gaining enlightenment, which essentially makes them fae.

With all of this in mind, the current roll-chart for determining your race in my home game is as follows:
1-45 - Human
46-70 - goblin
71-95 - tiefling
96-100 - other